


. . . even if she’d never been told that she was allowed to love like this,

by ThunderstormAtMidnight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Some Fluff, i guess, rupphire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 18:30:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15345945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderstormAtMidnight/pseuds/ThunderstormAtMidnight
Summary: Sapphire deals with internalized homophobia during the events of "The Answer"





	. . . even if she’d never been told that she was allowed to love like this,

**Author's Note:**

> Have a little drabble about my own experience with internalized homophobia vs. having a girlfriend, shown through Ruby and Sapphire

Sapphire had never experienced anything close to it, ever.   
Even with the power of her future vision, she couldn’t have predicted that something like this would happen. Everything that she’d ever seen had been perfectly in line with what she’d been told: she would be loyal to the Diamonds, she would See, and she would aid Homeworld in the fight against the Crystal Gems. This is how she’d long since accepted that her life would go, and it had never even occurred to her that things would go a different way.   
Until they did.  
Sapphire had been herself, then not quite herself, and now . . . she was herself again. It had all been a little confusing, and now she was lying on the floor, dazed. When she came back to her senses, she saw that every single Gem in the vicinity was staring at her. At her, and at the Ruby who had pushed her out of the way of that Pearl, and thus pushed her into an entirely different future. Sapphire heard the order from Blue Diamond for them both to be shattered, but she still couldn’t react. Everyone was staring. What they’d done was wrong, she felt that it was wrong, and yet . . . she’d never felt like this before. Sapphire found herself unable to move as the Gems around her moved in.   
The Ruby who’d fused with her for that couple of seconds grabbed her hand, and before she knew it they were tumbling off the edge of the ship, and towards the Earth. In a couple moments of fear as they plummeted, Sapphire felt the warmth of the Ruby’s hands on her own. It sent a surge of some emotion rushing through her. The only thing she could identify in it was guilt, but there was something more. Something better.   
In the last minute before they would crash into the ground, Sapphire tightened her grip on the Ruby and slowed their fall until they drifted, slowly, unharmed, to the ground. Once they touched down, she wanted to grab her hands back. She wanted to turn, to never think of this again. She wanted to go back to the Homeworld ship and back to the way her life was before. But with the feeling of the Ruby’s hands on hers, Sapphire faltered. As she looked into the Ruby’s eyes, a crimson so deep they were nearly black, she felt as though she were falling again. The swirl of emotions in her stomach made tears come to her eye, which was widening in wonder. She realized with a jerk that if she tried to go back, she’d never feel like this again. Although shame and guilt lingered within her, it was slowly being overpowered by another feeling. Sapphire didn’t recognize it for awhile after she originally felt it; she’d never experienced something quite so strong or . . . wonderful. As the Ruby began to panic, trying to justify bringing Sapphire back to the ship, Sapphire reassured her new companion. She had an idea that Ruby felt what she did, and she would eventually come to know completely that this feeling was right.   
It was love, and even if she’d never been told that she was allowed to love like this, it didn’t matter. Because it was love, and Sapphire understood finally that it was something to cherish. Even if she loved differently than she’d been told to.

**Author's Note:**

> God . . . I could talk for so long about how important this show is to me, especially in reference to Ruby and Sapphire. I've cried so many happy tears about them, and maybe some not-so-happy tears as well. As a lesbian whose had to deal with so much internalized homophobia, the fact that this children's show has a beautifully represented lesbian/queer women couple means so much to me.   
> (I may or may not have cried while writing this)


End file.
